


like magic (i felt each hundredth of a second)

by tenxfruit



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 7k words of gay, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Library, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun is Whipped, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Ji Hansol/Nakamoto Yuta, Smoking, Swearing, kang seulgi is mentioned, worried yusol, yikes it’s not as bad as it seems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenxfruit/pseuds/tenxfruit
Summary: yeah, taeyong was fucked. he did not expect this to ever happen to him. he was supposed to have a wife, kids! he hated himself for this. he wished jaehyun had never come into his life.





	1. act I ; le debut

mrs. do smiled warmly at taeyong as he walked through the doors of the large library. he gave a small smile in return as she approached him.

“taeyong, you’re looking good today, as always. i remember when i was a young girl, lusting after boys like you. when are you going to get yourself a girlfriend?” the older woman asked cheekily. mrs. do was the librarian and owner of the comforting library they now stood in. she was a small woman, shorter than taeyong and had black hair dusted with grey. her eyes were bright and welcoming with wrinkles around them that became most visible when she smiled.

“i told you, i have no time to date someone right now,” smiled taeyong. he was dressed typically, sporting an oversized white sweater with his hands bunched inside the sleeves to recover from the walk there in the fresh morning air. he wore black jeans and his black sneakers. his hair was silver with the black roots showing very visibly, a look that he seemed to pull off effortlessly.

the library that taeyong stood in was two stories tall and very open. the outermost walls were made primarily of large windows that let plenty of natural light seep in. there was a minimal amount of walls within the actual library, instead using tall bookshelves to separate it. in the middle of the library was a large staircase that curved slightly as it went upwards, leading to the upper floor housing the non fiction books.

taeyong’s job was calm. he would catalog the books then return them to their places upon the countless shelves. he was on his feet for much of his working hours, not that it bothered him. the job payed good enough, and it was rarely stressful. he had built a friendship with mrs. do, she cared for him and fed him countless times, as much as taeyong protested. he felt welcome in the library.

mrs. do showed taeyong the new books that he had to find places in the library for and he got to work. taeyong grabbed a few books and walked to the sci-fi/fantasy section in the quiet corner of the library. as he organized the new books into their spots by alphabetical order, he noticed jaehyun sitting alone at a desk next to a tall window.

jaehyun was the boy who came every week, silently studying books, writing notes, and researching topics unknown to taeyong. they had talked many times before while taeyong was working. taeyong smiled, happy to see him.

the bright morning sun cast a golden light across jaehyun’s face in a way that could only be described as ethereal. his lips were pink and plump, his nose straight, and eyes bright. jaehyun’s hair was a soft caramel colour and had a messy look from the countless times he ran his fingers through it. taeyong had noticed them a lot- jaehyun’s habits. how he would chew his lips when he was nervous or tap his fingers when he was bored.

 

taeyong had always been an observant person, easily able to notice when his friends were upset or excited. he decided that that the reason why he was so interested in jaehyun, attuned to him, was because he wanted to to be friends with him. with the books in their spots, he started over to the boy.

“hey, what’s up?” taeyong said as jaehyun saw him walk over with a dimpled smile.

“i’m studying for a test. why are you here? i thought you don't work mornings,” jaehyun said with curiosity. taeyong’s eyes widened slightly,   
“how would you know that?”

“oh i just noticed that you don't work in the mornings when i come. sorry if that seemed creepy,” jaehyun said, his cheeks dusted with pink. if jaehyun was a girl, taeyong would say he’s cute. he widened his eyes slightly, surprised at that thought.

“oh uhm, don't worry about it. good luck with your test. i gotta go,” taeyong spoke then walked away. jaehyun watched, shocked, as the other left him, his small frame moving fluidly. why did the dancer have to be so perfect? as soon as he was out of earshot, jaehyun groaned loudly and hit his head on the desk beneath him. he just scared away the boy he likes. 

when taeyong finished putting each of the asked books into their rightful spots, he returned to the back room to grab his phone and earbuds as his break had started. he grabbed the container of sliced melon he made himself that morning and walked out of the front doors after telling mrs. do that he was going outside for his break. he found a spot beneath a tall tree to sit and he began eating as he listened to his music.

the music was mostly hip hop and when he finished eating his snack, taeyong tapped his fingers along to the music as he rested his head on the tree behind him and closed his eyes. he had 10 minutes left to relax and enjoy the newly warmed weather.

a tap on the shoulder made taeyong’s eyes snap open. he saw jaehyun standing over him sheepishly. taeyong removed his earbuds slowly, “do you need something?” he asked, confused. 

“nah, i was just walking out and i noticed you so i decided to say hi,” jaehyun said.

“oh, you're done studying already?” taeyong asked as jaehyun sat down next to him on the plush grass. jaehyun nodded his head, “i’m not concentrating very well right now so i’m going to do it another time. what were you listening to?” deciding to ignore jaehyun’s previous statement, he replied to the question. 

“it's hip hop music. i might use this song for dance,” taeyong said.

jaehyun saw how the other’s eyes brightened as he talked about what he loved. it was very endearing. 

“you look really good today, taeyong,” he blurted without realizing. taeyong flushed and hid his face. he didn't understand why jaehyun’s comment affected him like this. he was just a guy. 

“thanks,” he responded quietly.

hearing jaehyun’s silence, he gathered his courage and looked up at the boy. jaehyun gazed into his eyes for several long seconds. he studies taeyong’s face. his strong jaw and pink lips. the small scar beneath his eye. taeyong was captivating and jaehyun decided he could look at him forever.

the taller boy found himself subconsciously leaning forward. although it happened quickly, it felt like an eternity before their lips met. taeyong was surprised to say the least. he was confused because he found himself closing his eyes and placing his hand on jaehyun’s neck to bring the two impossibly closer.

their lips moved together as if doing a choreographed dance. jaehyun happily noted how warm and soft taeyong’s lips felt. he nibbled slightly on taeyong’s bottom lip and he moaned quietly in response. he slipped his tongue into taeyongs mouth and they lost themselves in the warm feelings. their kisses were intimate and beautiful. taeyong let out an embarrassing whine as jaehyun pulled away to let them breath. he brought his face to taeyong’s neck and inhaled the comforting scent of the older.

jaehyun left open mouthed kisses on taeyong’s neck and proceeded to suck softly where his neck met his shoulder. taeyong tightened his grip on jaehyun and moaned. the younger pulled back once again to admire his work, seeing the bruises forming on taeyong’s pale skin.

the high seemed to wear off as taeyong widened his eyes in realization of what they just did. he pushed jaehyun away from him, “i need to go,” he mumbled darkly and got to his feet. he started to walk away from jaehyun, eyes blurring.

“wait, taeyong!-” jaehyun called after him, but it was too late. taeyong didn't look back as he jogged back to his apartment.

he called mrs. do and told her that he wasn't feeling well and he had to go home. she was worried and told him to rest well and taeyong agreed. he felt guilty for lying to the kind woman but he knew he needed some time to himself. taeyong trudged into his apartment with messy hair, bruises on his neck and red eyes. yuta looked up at the door from his spot on the couch. he was surprised to see taeyong in such a state, knowing that he was often very clean cut and calm.

taeyong saw yuta sitting on the couch in sweatpants and a worn t-shirt. he stood up quickly and walked to taeyong, “hey, are you okay? what happened?” yuta asked, eyeing the hickeys on his neck but choosing not to mention them. taeyong shook his head, “it’s nothing. i just need you to leave me alone right now, yuta.”

taeyong brushed past the dumbfounded boy and walked into his room, shutting the door loudly. it was a decent size, seeing as he was a student who didn't have much money to spare. it was meticulously clean, nothing out of place. his bed was on the left side of his room, with a desk and window in the corner. his wardrobe sat to his right with a large mirror next to it. the room was bright, white everywhere and the sun high in the sky. taeyong walked to his window and closed the curtains, bringing the room into darkness and he kicked off his shoes next to the bed before jumping in.

the bed was cold after not being used for hours. he wrapped himself tightly beneath the blankets and tried to avoid thinking about the day’s earlier events. taeyong eventually became too warm and comfortable to stay awake. he drifted into a sleep full of confusing emotions and unwelcomed pictures of a certain dimpled smile.


	2. act II, part 1 ; le milieu

many hours passed by before taeyong opened his eyes again. he checked his phone to see it was 8pm and jumped out of bed when he realized that he slept all day. he stumbled slightly as he walked to his window and opened his curtains. the sun was gone and the sky was dark already. when he looked back at his phone, he noticed 5 missed texts from ten.

taeyong quickly opened his messages. ten had texted taeyong 14 minutes ago to see if he and yuta wanted to go out drinking with the boys. often, taeyong would say no so he that could have time to study but after today, he decided what he really needed was to get drunk off his ass.

he sent a quick reply in agreement, knowing yuta would say yes, before grabbing a towel and walking into his bathroom. he took a quick hot shower and washed his hair. after stepping out, taeyong wrapped a white towel around his waist and returned to his room to pick out fresh clothes. he chose one of his tightest pairs of jeans that were black and ripped at the knees. he wore a grey ripped t-shirt tucked into his jeans with a black belt. he style his hair back and used concealer to hide the marks on his neck and lined his eyes with black.

satisfied with his look, he stepped out of his room to wait for hansol to come pick him and yuta up. usually they would alternate between who the designated driver is, and thankfully it was hansol’s turn tonight. he saw yuta on the couch once again but he had obviously changed into nicer clothes. taeyong was feeling indifferent and he hoped hansol would arrive soon so he could start drinking his problems away.

“hey yuta, i'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. i’m just having a rough day and i'd rather not talk about it yet.” yuta looked up and hummed.

“it’s okay. i was just worried. for now, let's get fucked up, okay? i think we both need it,” yuta grinned, “you look hot by the way. you'll have girls hanging off of you tonight,” he added.

taeyong grimaced slightly at the thought, although he’s not sure why. he glanced at his phone, “thanks, man. your boyfriend is here so we better go.”

yuta chased the older out of the building until they reached the car. taeyong kindly got into the back seat and put his seat belt on, ready to go. the drive was full of yuta talking about random shit and taeyong couldn't be bothered. he looked out the window with a blank expression as they finally pulled into the club.

inside, they walked together to the usual booth in the corner and said their greetings to the other guys. taeyong was mostly silent and excused himself to the bar to finally get the drinks he had been craving. he ordered a few tequila shots and a beer. when the bartender set the tequila shots in front of him, taeyong didn't hesitate in downing the dark liquid quickly. he grimaced and set down the last shot glass, satisfied. he grabbed his beer and began drinking, slower than before.

“bad day?” the bartender asked with raised eyebrows. “something like that,” taeyong responded bitterly.

“here, have this, on the house. it’ll do a much better job than what you've got now.” the bartender responded. he set down a glass of dark, unknown liquid in front of him. taeyong thought, fuck it, and took the glass. he thanked the man and took a sip. it burned as it went down his throat but left a warm and numb feeling behind.

when the silver haired boy finished his drink, he was tipsy and ready to dance. he set the glass down and walked onto the crowded dance floor. there were countless people around him, dancing on eachother and the like. taeyong lost himself in the dark room as he danced to the music. the alcohol ran through his veins and he moved his body perfectly to the beat. he didn't hesitate to dance on other people when they came, grinding and enjoying himself.

with pink tinted cheeks and slightly out of breath, taeyong returned to the bar to order another round of shots for himself. he needed to forget everything, he needed to feel nothing. returning to the dance floor was harder than before as taeyong was noticeably more drunk. he wobbled slightly but paid no mind to it.

taeyong found himself dancing with a girl, she was pretty, with long black hair and big eyes. he thought that her name was seulgi but he wasn't sure anymore. the music was loud and the alcohol had too much of an affect on him for his mind to function properly. the girl was grinding on taeyong. she turned around and danced along to the song with him.

soon enough, their lips met and taeyong messily kissed her, not caring who she was, just hoping that it would fix him. her lips were slightly chapped and even with the unmeasurable amounts of alcohol taeyong had managed to ingest, he compared her lips to the ones he kissed earlier that day.

taeyong pushed her away, frustrated, and walked towards where his friends were hopefully still sitting. he arrived, grabbed the drink in yuta’s hand and downed it quickly. the people around the table watched curiously at taeyong’s unusual behaviour. he usually drank in moderation, but this was far from that.

“w-why,” hiccup, “aren't you guys d-dancing?” taeyong slurred. his hair was messy, and he seemed to be swaying slightly. “you’re m-,” hiccup, “missing o-out!” he giggled, already forgetting what happened on the dance floor.

“hansol, i think you should take him home,” doyong said with concern clear on his features. he had never seen his friend act like this before.

taeyong reached out for another random drink on the table but his hand was swatted away. he lost his balance and fell over onto yuta. taeyong burst out into another fit of giggles. yuta helped taeyong up and placed an arm around around his shoulders. hansol stood up and said goodbye for them, apologizing for leaving early. the others waved and wished them a safe drive home.

in hansol’s car, yuta sat in the back with taeyong this time. he held the older’s head on his lap and pet his hair to keep him asleep and calm.

“do you have any idea why taeyong is acting like this?” hansol asked quietly, looking at the other through the rearview mirror. yuta sighed, “he came home early from work today all upset. he was crying and looked like shit, to be honest. i tried to talk to him but he wasn't having it. he locked himself in his room all day and i didn't see him again until you came to pick us up,” yuta replied. he was surprisingly sober right now, and he decided not to specify that taeyong looked like he came directly from a makeout session.

hansol seemed deep in thought, “you should keep an eye on him, yuta. there’s obviously something going on. we cant have him doing this every night.” yuta agreed with a hum.

when they arrived at yuta and taeyong’s shared apartment, the japanese boy thanked hansol with a kiss before bringing the now awakened taeyong inside. taeyong was quiet as they walked inside. his mood had changed drastically somehow. yuta practically carried taeyong to his bed, taking off his friend’s shoes for him and placing him under the blankets. the younger was shocked when he looked at taeyong’s face. his roommate had begun crying softly, sniffling every few seconds. yuta quickly tried to calm the intoxicated boy down, to no avail. in fact, taeyong began to cry harder.

“shh, calm down, taeyong. it’s okay, what's wrong?” yuta asked, letting his softer voice come out to try to comfort him.

“i left j-jaehyun. i just walked away. i ho-hope he doesn't hate me. i miss h-” hiccup, “him so much,” taeyong sobbed. he cried hard, full of remorse.

to say yuta was confused was an understatement. he didn't even know where to start. who is jaehyun? why does taeyong miss him? maybe he the one who left the hickeys on taeyong’s neck? questions whirled around yuta’s mind. he wasn't sure what taeyong meant. he thought his roommate was straight…

yuta decided to leave it, instead petting taeyong’s hair to bring him to sleep. the japanese boy had noticed this worked well on the older. taeyong fell asleep quickly with tear stains fresh on his face. yuta sighed and quietly left the room. he walked into the kitchen, filled a glass with water and grabbed two ibuprofen for taeyong before returning to the boy’s room. he left them on the bedside table for him to wake up to, knowing that the boy will have a killer hangover the next day.

yuta trudged to his own room, suddenly exhausted. he changed into his pyjamas and jumped into bed. he hoped that taeyong would be able to sort out his problems soon. sleep overcame yuta and the apartment was silent again.

 

taeyong woke up the next morning with a groan, the sun casting light directly into his eyes. he placed his hand over his face so he could fully wake up without feeling like he would go blind. when he opened his eyes again, he noticed a glass of water and pills sitting on his nightstand. he downed them and thanked yuta mentally for thinking of him.

taeyong had a pounding headache and his stomach was turning. he wished he could die just to escape the pain he placed upon himself. he remembered going out and getting shitfaced last night but not how he got home. he made a mental note to ask yuta.

the boy sat up slowly in bed, not wanting to aggravate his condition. he walked slowly to the bathroom and stripped himself of yesterday's uncomfortable clothes. he was mad at himself for falling asleep in them. taeyong got into the warm shower and groaned, feeling relieved. as he stood beneath the water, he found himself thinking about yesterday's events.

a normal day of work had turned into a disaster. jaehyun kissed him. jaehyun. not only that, but he liked it. a lot. he thought that jaehyun was straight, they were just supposed to be friends! thinking back on it, taeyong realized how attractive jaehyun really was. his body was broad and muscled, taller than himself. his eyes were so beautiful, taeyong wanted to look at them forever. and his lips… they were soft. the way jaehyun trailed kisses down his neck, leaving him wanting more. the way his lips felt against his was addicting...

taeyong, embarrassingly, realized that he was hard. he found himself moving his hand down, stroking himself. he imagined jaehyun’s mouth on him, sucking and licking. he flicked his wrist quickly and after a minute he released, jaehyun on his mind.

yeah, taeyong was fucked. he did not expect this to ever happen to him. he was supposed to have a wife, kids! he wanted to make his parents happy; continue his bloodline. he hated himself for this. he wished jaehyun had never come into his life. once again, taeyong was crying. the water began to run cold as taeyong cried. he felt torn, empty. he just wanted to be normal again. he stepped out of the shower.

 

[ after the teacher finished his lecture, he dismissed the students from class. as jaehyun exited, he spotted his friend taeil walking towards him. he was short and brown haired, with a bright smile.

“jaehyun! what’s up?” taeil asked.

“i just finished with my lecture,” the taller replied. taeil noticed how jaehyun seemed to be upset.

“jaehyun, you know that i can tell when something’s up. what happened?” the older asked, worried. jaehyun sighed, feeling defeated, “it’s taeyong. i made a move on him yesterday and he freaked,” he sniffled. taeil brought his taller friend into a warm hug.

“i’m sorry, i know how much you liked him, jae. but don't worry, he’ll come around. just be patient. who could resist a person like you?” taeil said with a giggle and reached up to ruffle his hair.

“thanks, hyung.” jaehyun said, feeling slightly better than before. ]


	3. act II, part 2 ; apres inversion

that night, taeyong and yuta ordered pizza and watched some random japanese anime together on the couch. taeyong knew that he should probably explain himself to yuta, he just didn't know how to start the conversation. he paused the anime.

“we need to talk-”

“can we talk?” both boys spoke at the same time. they laughed together, the tension dissolving. yuta gestured for taeyong to speak.

“i'll start by thanking you. i know that you brought me home on friday and took care of me and i'm really grateful for that. i was being a jerk to you before but you still helped me. i'm sorry for how i acted. and i don't remember much of what i did that night but i'm sorry if i said anything weird,” taeyong said with a laugh.

“it’s okay, hyung. we’re friends, i'm not just going to leave you to suffer. but i think that it's time you talk to me about what's going on. you acted very out of character on friday and i'm worried for you,” yuta said. “i want to be here for you. let me,” he added.

“i don't know if i'm ready to talk to you about this, yuta. please don't pry, i can't tell you right now,” taeyong sighed. yuta became frustrated, “im trying to be a good friend, taeyong! i can't do that if you act so fucking closed off all the time,” he yelled.

“you don't need to know about everything i do to be a good friend, yuta! just fuck off for once?” taeyong growled in return, “i'm leaving, don't worry about me tonight. i need to cool off.”

yuta watched sadly as taeyong put on his coat and walked out the front door with nothing but his phone and keys. he wished he could help taeyong, but he knew to leave it for now.

taeyong walked along the sidewalk on the dark street. with his hands in his pockets and huffing lightly, he kicked a stone in front of him. he felt bad for blowing up at yuta, but he just couldn't talk about it yet. he didn't even know what “it” was yet!

he walked far, not realizing how long it had been before he found himself in a neighbourhood he had never been in before. it started raining a couple of minutes before and taeyong was already soaked. the rain had begun to come down hard, the sky lighting up with flashes of lightning every couple minutes.

the silver haired boy tightened his jacket around himself, shivering. his phone was dead by now and all he could do was continue walking in hopes of finding somewhere to shelter himself. ahead of him to the right, a figure was standing under cover in an apartment complex, smoking. taeyong walked closer, hoping to be able to use the mystery person’s phone to call someone to come get him.

taeyong gasped when the figure was close enough to be identified. it was jaehyun. although the opposite of ideal, taeyong would rather not die tonight so he decided to continue walking closer. jaehyun looked up, recognition and surprise written on his face.

“taeyong? what are you doing out there in the rain?” he asked with concern. he put his cigarette out and stepped closer.

“i was walking and i lost track of time. i'm not sure where i am and my phone is dead. can i please use yours so i can just go home?” taeyong asked, defeated.

“oh yeah of course, my phone is upstairs though. come inside before you catch a cold,” jaehyun said, eyebrows knitted together in worry. taeyong considered the invitation. he didn't want to be around the younger boy any more than necessary.

“i’ll stay out here. please just go get your phone,” taeyong said. jaehyun shook his head, “i know that you don't want to be near me right now but i can't leave you out here. come inside with me and at least have some tea.” jaehyun replies.

taeyong cursed all possible gods for putting him in this terrible situation. he wished he didn't storm away from yuta. taeyong agreed to follow jaehyun inside, nonetheless, knowing he’ll probably regret it. the journey into jaehyun’s apartment was quiet, taeyong following a few steps behind the taller.

“i didn't peg you for the smoker type,” taeyong said as jaehyun pulled his keys from his pocket. they stopped in front of a dark brown door with the numbers 309 written on it.

“i’m not, really. i was just really stressed today,” he supplied. taeyong let out a soft, “oh okay,” and the door swung open. the apartment was clean enough and had a comfortable feeling. they took off their shoes at the door and jaehyun led him into the kitchen. he told taeyong to sit down on the barstool as he prepared the two of them some tea. taeyong couldn't help but admire the tall boy as he stood with his back to him. his shoulders were broad and taeyong could practically see the muscle from here. jaehyun turned around as the water began boiling and looked at the other.

“taeyong, you’re shaking. let me lend you some clothes, yours are soaked!” he exclaimed. taeyong was about to protest but jaehyun grabbed his hand and taeyong’s words were lost. he followed jaehyun into his room and sat on his bed as jaehyun got to work looking through his drawers for the clothes that would fit taeyong best.

with a noise of triumph, he found some older clothes that no longer fit him and passed them to taeyong. “put these on then come back to the kitchen and i'll put your clothes into the dryer,” jaehyun said sternly and then walked out.

his bedroom was nice. it was jaehyun. there were achievements and pictures around the room. taeyong giggled to himself when he saw a baby picture of jaehyun on the wall. cute, he thought. there was a desk with a laptop, books and stacks of paper on it, obviously for school. his bed was in the corner of the room adorned with slightly messy sheets. when taeyong finished looking around the room, he decided to put the clothes on because, yes, he was shaking and he didn't want to keep jaehyun waiting.

he stripped with much effort, throwing the wet fabric to the floor beneath him temporarily as he put on jaehyun’s clothes. the clothes were much warmer and dry, and taeyong realized that even though they were supposed to be small on jaehyun, he was drowning in them. he tightened the drawstring of the sweatpants as much as possible in hopes of keeping them up and let the worn t-shirt drape over his small frame, to his mid thighs. he looked at himself in the mirror and noticed that the shirt showed his collar bones. not only that, but it also made the hickeys jaehyun left very noticeable after the makeup washed off in the rain.

taeyong returned to the kitchen and handed jaehyun the wet clothes. jaehyun looked him up and down, then noticed the hickeys. he blushed furiously looking at the smaller boy in front of him, “i’ll go put these in the dryer,” he mumbled before turning away.

taeyong blushed slightly after the encounter, knowing that jaehyun saw the marks on his skin. he sat down in his earlier spot and waited for jaehyun to return. when the younger boy returned to the kitchen, he seemed much calmer. he finished preparing the promised tea and sat next to taeyong with two mugs. he gave one of them to taeyong and brought his own to his lips.

“thank you,” taeyong spoke. jaehyun hummed in return. they drank the warm tea in a comfortable silence. taeyong admitted to himself that he was glad that he chose to come inside. the drinks were finished at the same time and jaehyun washed their cups in the sink, singing softly to himself.

“you’re a great singer,” the silver haired boy said. jaehyun smiled happily and thanked him, returning to his seat after having replaced the mugs in their rightful spots.

“about the other day…” jaehyun started quietly, “i’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. i didn’t think it would upset you, if i did, i would have stayed away,” he said.

taeyong looked into the other’s eyes and saw sincerity and hope. jaehyun looked back at him intimately. his eyes studied taeyong's face, taking in his features. he stopped on taeyong’s lips. they were so pretty, the pink a beautiful contrast to his pale face. taeyong leaned forwards slowly, until his breaths could be felt against jaehyun’s face. they looked each other in the eyes before taeyong broke the distance and their lips met. the kiss was warm and felt safe. the boys were on cloud nine, loving the way their lips felt pressed together.

jaehyun guided the two boys into his bedroom, lips never separating. taeyong backed up until he felt his legs hitting the bed. they landed together on the plush bed and jaehyun broke the kiss. he studied taeyong’s face, his beautiful rosy cheeks.

“are you okay with this?” jaehyun asks softly. “yes, please, jaehyunnie,” taeyong replies and that's all it takes. jaehyun dusts kisses all over taeyong’s face, on his scar, his forehead, his nose, the corner of his lips, before finally pressing his lips to taeyong’s again. they kiss for a while longer and jaehyun brings them further onto the bed.

the boys became one in the most intimate way possible. they shared countless kisses as jaehyun made love to taeyong, coaxing moans from the two. they finished together and taeyong was blissed out. the taller boy pulled taeyong to his chest and brought the duvet over them both. they fell asleep in eachothers arms, happy.

the next morning, taeyong woke up slowly, with his head on jaehyun’s chest. his heart started to beat quickly, anxiety rising after realizing what he had done. he knew he slept with jaehyun last night. he remembered every part of it. taeyong was terrified. he slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake the younger. he felt pain shoot up his spine and he doubled over in pain. great. he pulled on the nearest clothes and grabbed his phone from where he had thankfully left it charging the night before.

he walked to the door of the bedroom and looked back. jaehyun was asleep peacefully, unaware of what was happening. taeyong sighed and quietly wrote a note for him, leaving it on the bedside table. 

i needed some time to think.  
don’t worry about me  
\- taeyong

taeyong limped out of jaehyun’s apartment with minimal dignity and called yuta.

“taeyong? is that you? are you okay, where are you?” yuta asked as he picked up.

“a simple ‘hello’ would work, too,” taeyong responded, “i need you to pick me up though, quickly. i'll explain later,” he supplied.

“okay, send me the address, i'll be there soon,” yuta says with poorly masked concern. as soon as he hung up, taeyong wrote out the address of where he was and sent it to yuta. he groaned in pain as he sat down on the curb to wait. what had he gotten himself into?

yuta’s car pulled up in front of him ten minutes later. he stood slowly, doing his best to mask the pain that came with moving from his friend’s eyes. he got into the car and they drove away. taeyong let out a breath. he was overwhelmed with disbelief of what he did and put his head in his hands.

“thanks for getting me, man,” taeyong’s voice was muffled but yuta heard him fine. “yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. you better come through on your promise and tell me what the hell happened, though,” yuta said. taeyong groaned and agreed quietly.

when they arrived at their shared apartment, taeyong got out of the car, almost used to the pain by now, and began walking with yuta inside. regardless, taeyong walked with an obvious limp and yuta was even more confused.

they entered the clean apartment together and taeyong collapsed onto the couch, pain soaring through him after being forced to climb the stairs to their floor. yuta was fed up. he sat next to taeyong, who was sprawled out on the couch. “dude, you’re limping, wearing someone else’s clothes and the hickeys on your neck are way too obvious. what happened to you?” he asked, bewildered. he noticed taeyong sniffling and could tell he was crying.

“i think im gay,” he sobbed quietly, “i met this boy at the library a while back. we talked a lot and then on friday he kissed me and i freaked out. that's why i came home early. i was upset and confused. i hated myself because i don't want to be a disappointment to my parents,” he explained.

yuta was silent for several long moments, “that doesn't explain what happened to you last night,” he said with confusion. taeyong cried harder.

“yesterday when i left after our argument, i got caught in a storm and ended up outside of jaehyun’s apartment. he took me inside and made me tea then let me wear his clothes as mine dried. we ended up kissing again then.. w-we had sex. i woke up and left with my phone before he woke up,” taeyong whispered.

“taeyong, i understand that you’re scared, but stop beating yourself up. no one is going to love you any less if you like guys. you won't be any less human. you won't be a disappointment. i think you need to talk to jaehyun and figure things out,” yuta said softly. taeyong sniffled, sat up and brought yuta into a tight hug, “thank you for being here for me.”


	4. act III ; resolution

taeyong found jaehyun’s contact easily. his thumbs hovered over his phone as he thought of what to say. he decided on something simple. 

from: taeyong  
are you free? please meet me at the library as soon as you can. 

the boy was nervous as he awaited a response. he set his phone down and limped to his dresser, fishing out a pair of black jeans (as always) and a purple pullover sweater. he changed quickly into his own clothes, folding jaehyun’s to bring with him. he checked his phone. 

from: jaehyun  
okay, i'll meet you there. 

taeyong’s heart jumped, as he walked lopsidedly out of his room. he found yuta in the kitchen and dragged him away, forcing the younger to drive him to the library. taeyong bounced his right foot the whole ride there and although he was sure yuta was annoyed by it, he said nothing. when they arrived, taeyong hesitated.

“get out of my car and go talk to your lover boy,” yuta said, unamused. taeyong choked but jumped out of the car and started towards the building. he walked inside and went to the far corner, knowing he would find jaehyun there.

as predicted, the golden haired boy was sat at a desk next to the window. it reminded taeyong of before everything happened, when he used to find jaehyun sitting there during work hours. he approached slowly, seeing jaehyun look up at him, then sat down across from him sheepishly. jaehyun was worried, “you were limping. what happe- oh,” he blushes and looks down, “i'm sorry.”

taeyong widened his eyes, “it’s okay, jae, don't worry about me. i should be the one apologizing for leaving you again this morning,” taeyong looked down at his hands sadly, “oh, i brought you the clothes that i took,” he added with a blush, giving the bag to jaehyun.

“i want to explain myself to you and apologize properly,” taeyong started, “the day you kissed me, i loved it. i ran away because i was scared. i didn't expect myself to like another guy so much. i wanted to avoid those feelings because i was afraid that my parents wouldn't love me anymore, that i would become a disappointment. what happened last night was amazing and i'm glad i spent it with you. i just got scared when i woke up feeling so vulnerable. i'm sorry for being such a coward. i really like you and i hope you can forgive me for all i've done,” taeyong finished in a soft voice with a tear rolling down his face.

“it’s okay, taeyong. i like you too, a lot, and i don't want to ever lose you” jaehyun replied, bringing his hand up to lovingly wipe away taeyong’s tears. the taller stood and walked around the table to give taeyong a hug. they stood in eachothers arms happily and jaehyun pulled taeyong into a gentle kiss. they separated after a couple moments and taeyong gazed into jaehyun’s eyes, overcome with love. 

jaehyun offered to walk taeyong home and he agreed happily. although taeyong could still feel the burning at the base of his spine, he was glad that they could have this time together.

“what are you going to school for? i always see you studying but i never asked,” taeyong inquired suddenly. jaehyun giggled, “i’m an english major,” he answered. the older boy’s eyes widened, “really? that’s cool!” he said enthusiastically.

jaehyun laughed louder, “i think you’re a little biased,” he said with a dimpled smile. taeyong shrugged and laughed with him.

“what’s your favourite colour?” taeyong said.

“white. what’s yours?” jaehyun asked, amused.

“hm, black,” the smaller grinned, “oh, we’re here. you can come inside if you’d like. my roommate yuta is probably waiting for me,” taeyong said. jaehyun nodded and followed him inside. when they walked through the front door, the first thing jaehyun observed was how clean it was. he found it endearing how taeyong enjoyed cleaning so much.

he then noticed a boy sitting on the couch near them, “hey yuta, come meet jaehyun,” taeyong said. yuta shot up with interest to meet the legendary jaehyun. he walked over to them and sized him up. jaehyun had a muscled build and a handsome face.

“jaehyun, this is yuta. yuta, this is jaehyun,” taeyong introduced. yuta smirked, “you caught yourself a pretty one,” he said to taeyong.

taeyong choked and started chasing yuta around, the pain was worth it, and jaehyun was laughing loudly watching the two.

after they calmed down, the three boys sat down and talked loudly. taeyong was happy to report that jaehyun and yuta were getting along perfectly. time flew by as they made jokes and played games getting to know each other. when taeyong looked at the clock again, he frowned.

“jae, it's getting dark. you can stay over tonight if you want,” taeyong offered easily. jaehyun smiled at him, “sure, thanks taeyong.”

yuta looked between the two then made gagging noises, “i’m going to retire to my room now. use protection,” he winked before walking away with a wave. taeyong groaned and hid his face. “ignore him,” taeyong’s muffled voice said. jaehyun just laughed at him.

they cleaned up the mess the three of them left in the living room before going to taeyong’s room. “i'll be right back, i'll get you a change of clothes from yuta, they’ll fit you better than mine every would,” taeyong said and exited the room. he knocked on yuta’s door and walked in when he heard a hum of acknowledgement from the other side.

“can jaehyun borrow some clothes for tonight?” taeyong asked. yuta was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone.

“yeah, sure,” yuta agreed. after some moments of silence as taeyong ruffled through yuta’s drawers, the japanese boy spoke up, “hey taeyong?” he asked. taeyong hummed in response, a sign to continue. “i think jaehyun is a good guy. i’m glad you finally found someone, you prude,” yuta grinned. taeyong growled out a, “thanks,” before walking out with the clothes. he returned to his room and threw the clothes at jaehyun, “wear those,” he said, “i'm going to go change and brush my teeth. you can change in here.” taeyong said.

they both got into their pyjamas and when taeyong returned, he jumped into his bed happily. he scooted over and patted the spot next to him for jaehyun to get in. they snuggled up under the covers and taeyong sighed, ready to sleep.

“goodnight, yongie,” jaehyun whispered.

“night night,” taeyong slurred.

although they did not speak it, both of them knew. they were happy. they were finally together, they were finally okay. the two boys slept the best they had in years, filled with hope, love and promises for the future.


End file.
